​“Hmmm…so you need more structure in your life?”

I recently spent time with some friends from my previous church in San Diego. While the reason we were together was profoundly sad (honoring the life of a young man who died much too soon), it was nice to catch up with people I had not seen in over six years.

While in San Diego (and previous to that, when I lived in Chicago), I worshiped at a UCC church. If you are not familiar with that denomination, UCC stands for United Church of Christ (NOT the same as Church of Christ. Really not the same). While considered a mainline Protestant denomination - it does keep to a traditional liturgy (follows the lectionary, changes the paraments to match color of the season). It is also known for a very progressive theology (they were the first denomination to ordain openly gay clergy - way back in the 1970s), and a much more “laid back” approach to worship.

When I first met up with some of these former churchmates, they all commented on how long it had been since they had seen me. At which point, one of the group, with whom I had kept in touch, announced to the rest - “don’t worry, she still goes to church!” To which I replied - “Yes, and I’m an Episcopalian now!” And it was that announcement that led to the response with which I opened this reflection. It caused me to wonder - is that the reason I decided to join St. Cross and become confirmed in the Episcopal Church? Did I need more structure in my life?

Maybe “structure” isn’t the right word - but I will admit that I like the pageantry of the Episcopal church. I like processing in with the choir at the start of the service, behind acolytes carrying crosses and torches, and the clergy following. All of us in our vestments bowing at the altar. I like all of that. It makes me feel a part of something bigger than me. Something almost magical. Something important.

At the UCC church I went to, the choir, AND the clergy, would ditch the vestments if it was too hot that day! Like I said - laid back. And while I was grateful for the relief from polyester choir robes, there was a part of me that was disappointed on those days. I felt like we were somehow breaking the rules. While I don’t for a minute believe that God cares whether we wear vestments or not, I do believe we need to present our best before God, and each other. And we look really good in those vestments!

I still love the UCC and will always be grateful for their hospitality in making a place for me in church. But I’m also grateful that, when I moved to the South Bay and visited all of the UCC churches in the area, none of them seemed to be the right fit. Because if I had settled for one of them, I wouldn’t have found St. Cross. I wouldn’t have joined the best choir in town, or graduated from EfM, or been confirmed, or chaired the Stewardship Committee or become Jr. Warden on the Vestry - which has given me the opportunity to write this reflection.

So thank you St. Cross - for the hospitality, the liturgy, the pageantry, and the love. And maybe a little extra structure too.

Lavinia Henley

Jr. Warden